


Ahsoka and Her Choice

by Merfilly



Series: Ahsoka's Nightmare [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, best medic ever, maybe he can save the trainwreck that is ahsoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka has chosen a path... but new data will make her rethink her choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ahsoka and Her Choice

"Fulcrum."

The word brought her up out of the trance she had fallen into, and Ahsoka quickly cleared her mind, pulling the voice modulator up.

"Fulcrum here."

"We have information on what you were seeking. Meet on Malastare." Coordinates, a time, and instructions for the trade-off followed, quickly plotted into her computer. She then read the small packet of data that was received, and had to sit back, once comms were cut.

She had been maneuvering to take on Darth Vader, but this information was about Kix.

She had to choose. Either she would have to make that rendezvous, or she would need to give up the quest to find the medic.

Ahsoka Tano considered both missions, and then chose her course.

+++

Kix knew his situation had changed, but he was uncertain how or why. As he slowly allowed his eyes to open, it was to the dimmed lighting of a small berth on a ship he was unfamiliar with. Someone was touching his hand, and he turned his head to see white and blue montrals leaned on the berth. At his movement, the head lifted, and Kix found himself staring, impossibly, into the blue eyes of his own commander.

"Commander, sir, you look like _haran_ ," he told her honestly, and it made her smile, a faint sadness still in her eyes, but she was so beautiful and soothing for him.

"Kix, you look just as bad, I promise." She sat up fully, and lifted a hand to lay along his cheek. "I'm ordering you to rest, and eat what I bring you, all the way to our destination."

"Promise to eat with me, and I promise not to be an unruly patient." Kix wondered at the fact her montrals were taller, beginning to curve. With her sitting up, he could take in the fact she had lost all traces of youth's plumpness in her face, that her lekku were longer, and that she was most certainly no longer a child in any way.

"I can do that." She drew her hand away, and rose, affording him a view of her back as she went to make something nutritious but easy on the stomach.

He wanted to know who had marked her lekku so badly, where the scars on the montrals had come from, and if they lived so he could prove he was as much a soldier as a medic.

+++

Rex had been second-guessing his decision ever since Ahsoka's ship had left Seelos this last time. He had no idea if he would ever see her again. A small mission relayed their way hadn't done anything to help his mood, as Gregor had taken a pretty nasty wound, and was now recovering rather than playing peacemaker on the AT-TE. Rather than continually argue with Wolffe, Rex was spending more time salvaging gear, trying to improve their defenses, and generally keeping to himself.

He ached, raw as if he'd been shot through his chest plates, to know he had probably done far more harm than good by respecting the boundaries he thought Ahsoka had placed between them.

+++

Kix noticed that once he was mobile, Ahsoka kept more distance between them. He noticed that if he moved too quickly, she tensed visibly.

They were also not going directly to a destination. Twice now, he had felt them land, and she had left, swathed in concealing garments, and one of those times, she came back with a singed robe and treated the blaster burn under it. He had wanted to offer, but her body language discouraged him from even asking.

His commander was wounded in her soul, and he didn't know why. She had told him it had been about six years since he was lost, but not what had happened in those years.

Now, in hyperspace again, and them sharing a simple meal, he decided he was strong enough to handle the shock of whatever she was holding back.

"Commander, we need to brief me, on the missing years. On why you rarely meet my eyes. On why you flinch if I get close to you."

Ahsoka sighed softly, but she nodded. "I was waiting until you looked a little healthier," she said, "but if you insist, I can tell you what happened."

Over the course of that meal, to which she added two cups of sweet and spicy cocoa, she began to tell the entire ordeal that had befallen his brothers, the Republic, the Jedi, and with terse, quick words, why she did not feel safe with any clone trooper.

"I know you won't hurt me, Kix. I took out the chip before I brought you up, but some things are at a level I haven't yet learned to let go."

Kix considered that, considered all that he had heard, and nodded silently. "I can see that, Commander. Be a bit more upset with you if you could. As it is… will you accept my Oath of Service again?"

She stared at him in disbelief, not understanding where that request had come from. "I'm not a sovereign power or even part of any official military any longer, Kix."

"No, you're part of the people trying to put sanity back in the galaxy. You're Ahsoka Tano, former padawan to an Order that lost its way. You are the being that has never shown me anything but a willingness to try and keep trying, always in the service of what I see as right. I can think of no other person right now I would rather throw my lot in with. I am _choosing_ you, Commander. Will you let me make that choice?"

"Kix… " she began, but his eyes were boring into hers. Could she take his choice away from him? Hadn't she done that to Rex? Hadn't she refused a choice he had made by leaving the way she had? "Let me think on it. And take us to Seelos. Maybe, with Rex and and Wolffe and Gregor, you'll feel differently."

"Doubt it, Commander, but it will be good to see them all," Kix said. "I'll try not to be so quiet, when I move around. You have some severe trauma responses, with reason, and until we work through them a little more, I will be mindful of it."

"What about you, Kix? I just told you what happened to your entire people, and everything that you fought for," she said softly. "What about your trauma?"

He gave her half a smile, his eyes cold. "When it sets in, Commander, when I really feel it settle in the gut, I'll ask for help."

She reached out, hesitated… but he reached too, and clasped her hands in his.

That her hands weren't shaking was a start, he thought, to healing.

**Author's Note:**

> Haran = hell


End file.
